The Resilient Workplace, Part 4: The Illusion of Control - Focusing on What Truly Matters

Letting go of stress and focusing on what you can control in the workplace. Learn how embracing flexibility can build resilience and reduce anxiety. Generated by Ideogram

In our previous parts of this series, we explored stress and anxiety, building positive social connections, and managing change and loss. Today, we turn our attention to a concept that often lies at the heart of our stress: the illusion of control. By learning to recognize this illusion and focus on what we can control, we unlock the potential for true resilience.

The Illusion of Control: Why It’s So Prevalent

In today’s fast-paced, highly competitive world, the desire for control is a common response to uncertainty. Whether it’s our work environment, personal relationships, or even our health, we’re constantly striving to exert control over outcomes to feel secure. It’s understandable—our brains are wired to seek safety in predictability.

But here’s the problem: not everything is predictable. Trying to control the uncontrollable leads to a cycle of frustration, anxiety, and burnout. Acknowledging that some aspects of life are beyond our influence—and focusing instead on what we can control—can radically shift our perspective and reduce stress.

Strategy 1: Focus on What You Can Control

First, let’s start by identifying what we can control. It’s easy to get caught up in external factors, but much of our stress comes from trying to manage outcomes that aren’t in our hands. Instead, consider focusing on:

• Your responses to situations

• Your attitude and mindset

• The effort and energy you invest in your work

• How you structure your day and manage your time

• The boundaries you set with others

Real-Life Example: Take Susan, a project manager who recently felt overwhelmed when her team’s performance wasn’t meeting her expectations. She realized she had been trying to control every detail, from individual workloads to team dynamics. This constant need to oversee everything left her exhausted. After attending a CMHC workshop on workplace resilience, Susan shifted her focus to what she could control—offering clear guidance, setting realistic deadlines, and providing support to her team rather than micromanaging. The result? Less stress for her, more ownership from her team, and a much more balanced work environment.

Action Step: Make a list of the things in your life that are stressing you out. For each item, identify what aspects you can realistically control. Focus your energy on those areas and practice letting go of the rest.

Strategy 2: Practice Gratitude to Shift Your Perspective

Gratitude is a powerful tool, not just as a feel-good habit, but as a mental reset that shifts your focus from what you lack to what you already have. Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lower stress hormones, improve sleep, and boost mental resilience.

By regularly practicing gratitude, you train your brain to focus on the positives, which helps soften the grip of stress caused by uncontrollable factors.

Real-Life Example: John, a senior executive at a tech firm, was in the midst of a major product launch when his team encountered several unexpected delays. Frustration mounted, and he found himself ruminating on what had gone wrong. But instead of staying stuck in this negative mindset, John began keeping a daily gratitude journal. Each morning, he listed three things he appreciated about his team and the progress they had made. This simple shift in focus helped him approach the project setbacks with a more optimistic mindset, leading to better decision-making and improved morale.

Action Step: Start each day by writing down three things you’re grateful for—whether they’re related to work, personal life, or even small pleasures like a warm cup of coffee. Keep this habit going for 30 days and observe the shift in your mindset.

Strategy 3: Set Realistic Expectations and Embrace Uncertainty

Another source of stress is setting unrealistic expectations—for yourself, for others, or for how things should unfold. Many of us operate under the assumption that things need to go perfectly for us to succeed. But perfectionism and an overemphasis on control are often the fastest routes to burnout.

By setting realistic, achievable expectations and learning to embrace uncertainty, you’ll cultivate flexibility. This approach encourages a mindset where obstacles aren’t failures, but rather part of the journey.

Real-Life Example: Laura, a creative director, was known for setting very high expectations for herself and her team. Any deviation from her vision stressed her out. But after learning about the importance of setting realistic goals in one of our resilience workshops, Laura adjusted her approach. She started allowing for flexibility in her project timelines and outcomes. The result? Less stress for her and a more motivated, creative team that felt encouraged to experiment and innovate without fear of failure.

Action Step: Review a current project or task you’re working on. Are your expectations realistic, or are you setting yourself up for unnecessary stress? Adjust your goals and timelines to reflect what’s manageable and embrace the possibility of unexpected outcomes.

Out-of-the-Box Strategy: Reframe Control as Influence

Here’s an unconventional yet powerful way to deal with the illusion of control: Reframe your desire for control as a desire for influence. Control implies mastery over outcomes, while influence focuses on guiding the process.

Instead of asking, "How can I control this situation?" ask, "How can I influence this situation for the best possible outcome?" This slight shift in mindset takes the pressure off needing to micromanage every aspect and opens up creative possibilities for problem-solving.

Real-Life Example: Jane, a nonprofit director, often felt paralyzed when her organization faced unpredictable funding cycles. Instead of trying to control every fundraising event’s outcome, she reframed her mindset to focus on influence. What could she do to increase the likelihood of success? She began cultivating stronger relationships with donors and focusing on storytelling to make a greater impact. By reframing her efforts as influence rather than control, Jane felt more empowered and less anxious about things she couldn’t guarantee.

Action Step: The next time you’re stressed about something you can’t control, ask yourself, “How can I influence the outcome?” This shift will allow you to focus on action without the pressure of guaranteeing success.

Letting Go of the Illusion of Control

Overcoming the illusion of control is key to reducing stress and enhancing resilience. By focusing on what you can control, practicing gratitude, setting realistic expectations, and reframing control as influence, you’ll cultivate a healthier mindset that allows you to navigate life’s uncertainties with more confidence and calm.

In the final part of this series, we’ll explore the power of self-compassion and how being kind to yourself can strengthen your resilience.

For more insights and potential workshops on building resilience and managing stress, visit our organizational page.

Join the Conversation

How do you manage the illusion of control in your life? Share your experiences and strategies in the comments below. Let’s build a resilient community together!

For more information on our workshops and to book a session, please visit our Organizational Wellness page.

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